When a student chooses to study overseas, the whole family begins a new chapter. While students adapt to life in a new country, parents must also navigate the challenges of supporting their child from afar.
The good news is that there are ways to support your child – and yourself – during this transition.
We spoke to two experts in the field to get some practical advice and tips.
Dr Tianyi Ma is a research fellow within the UQ School of Psychology. His research focuses on parenting and family psychology, including how families and schools can work together to support children’s development, learning and wellbeing.
James Yu is a Principal Adviser within the Accessibility and Welfare team of the Student Support and Wellbeing Services. He is part of a team that provides advice and counselling to students, to make sure students are supported throughout their time in university.
Both were international students at UQ and have first-hand experience navigating the transition to life in Australia and maintaining relationships with family back home.
Accept that the transition is for both you and your child
Many parents focus on how their child will adapt and settle to a new environment, but studying abroad affects the whole family.
“Parents are also adjusting. It is normal to feel worried or start to feel lonely. After all, they are adjusting to this new role in their child’s life,” says Tianyi.
Rather than expecting yourself to feel positive all the time, acknowledge that mixed emotions are a natural part of the journey. Supporting your child starts with giving yourself permission to adapt, too.
Parent tip: Different coping strategies work for different families. Some parents find it helpful to connect with other families who also have children studying overseas. Whether through a formal support group or a community of friends, sharing experiences with others going through a similar transition can provide perspective and a sense of connection.
Focus on connection, not control
One of the most common mistakes parents make is becoming overly involved once their child arrives overseas. While frequent check-ins can come from a place of love, too much can unintentionally strain the relationship.
“I think one of the biggest challenges is this urge to stay highly involved, to monitor, to control things and to expect your kids to send a message several times a day. Just because modern technologies enable that, it doesn't mean that it has to work like that."
-Dr Tianyi Ma
Instead, focus on creating a relationship where your child feels comfortable reaching out when they need support. The goal is to stay emotionally close and not be restrictive.
Parent tip: Instead of asking, “Where are you? Have you done this? What are you doing now?”, try “How are things going? Is there anything you'd like to talk through?”.
Agree on communication expectations before they leave
One of the simplest ways to avoid misunderstandings is to discuss communication habits before your child departs. Families who agree on how often they'll message, call or video chat often find the transition easier.
“Different families would have different preferences, and I guess there's no right or wrong here; it's about what works for each family,” says James.
“Frequency can also change. Maybe at the very beginning, parents would probably want to see their child a few times a day just to check on how they're settling in, but as the student progresses in their journey, that involvement can decrease and evolve.”
There is no perfect formula. What matters most is that everyone understands what to expect.
Parent tip: The communication pattern that works in the first few weeks may change as your child settles into university life. Flexibility and understanding are important.
Listen more than you lecture
When students face challenges abroad, parents naturally want to step in with solutions. However, sometimes, your child might just need someone who will listen without trying to solve their problem for them.
“It's about listening without judgment, and giving prompts to help them identify potential solutions, because that's how you can encourage self-regulation in the long term," says Tianyi.
"Mentor the child instead of directly telling them what they need to do.”
This approach helps students build confidence and problem-solving skills while knowing they still have your support.
Parent tip: Before offering a solution, consider asking: "Would you like advice or would you like me to listen?" and "How can I best support you right now?".
Expect challenges and trust your child's ability to manage them
Homesickness and culture shock are common experiences for international students. They do not necessarily mean something is wrong.
“It's important for parents to acknowledge that these things are a normal part of the journey. The aim is not the complete removal of discomfort. If you're not feeling challenged, you're probably not learning."
-Dr Tianyi Ma
Growth often happens through manageable challenges. Developing independence, resilience and self-regulation are all part of the university experience.
Parent tip: UQ is also equipped to provide counsel to students who may find it hard during the initial transition period. Parents can be assured that there are Accessibility and Welfare Advisers who can assist students by phone, Zoom or in person.
Measure success by more than grades
Many international families make significant sacrifices to make overseas study possible for their child. As a result, there can be academic pressure and high expectations for the students to perform well.
“Parents need to remember that it’s not just a study experience," says James.
"When students move here, they also have to learn to live in a new country, adapt to a different culture and make new friends. It is a life-changing experience.” says James.
While academic achievement remains important, studying abroad helps students develop skills for their personal and professional growth:
- independence
- problem-solving skills
- cultural awareness
- communication skills
- confidence
- adaptability.
These life skills can be just as valuable as academic results, if not more, down the track.
Parent tip: Instead of focusing every conversation on how school is going, ask about friendships, new experiences and their wellbeing.
Help your child prepare for everyday independence
Another challenge that parents often face is that their kids are transforming from teenagers into adults away from home. This means that for the first time, students may be needing to manage their finances, housing, social connections and daily responsibilities by themselves.
Parents can support this transition by having practical conversations before departure, including:
- Budgeting and managing money – UQ has a Cost of Living guide that can help set budgeting expectations.
- Handling emergencies – when things happen, what are the protocols? Who should the student contact? How can they reach UQ Security? How can they access emergency services in Australia?
- Making new friends – plan your child’s journey so they can attend orientation and welcome activities before classes officially start. Some students may also find it easier if they stay in a college, as residential colleges frequently organise student activities that keep their tenants connected.
- Getting around – Queensland fares are capped at 50 cents per trip. Encourage your child to use public transport before classes begin so they become familiar with travelling to the campuses, navigating Brisbane and exploring their new surroundings independently.
- Finding support services – encourage your child to seek help when they need it. UQ Student Central is the best place to go to when they don’t know where to find the resource they need.
Parent tip: Children benefit most when they know they have a secure base to return to, even as they explore their independence. Ensure your child feels you are emotionally available for them when they need it.
Create space for meaningful conversations
When your child grows into an adult, expect your conversations with them to change as well. Adult relationships require adult conversations.
Tianyi spoke of his own personal journey with his parents and shared how they showed genuine interest in his field of study so they could continue to have meaningful conversations.
“If you are able to have a shared interest with them, then you have shared topics to discuss, and you’re more likely to stay connected," he says.
"Actually, my dad read the whole Introduction to Psychology textbook. I always find it helpful if he understands the basics, so when I talk to him about my work, he gets it.”
Parent tip: Find something that both you and your child are interested in so that you can talk to each other about it. Some examples are sports, a hobby or a TV show. These conversations often create stronger connections than routine check-ins.
Building the relationship starts earlier than university
When you're thinking about building a healthy relationship with your child, this actually needs to happen early on.
“That trust, that rapport between the child and their parents, it's crucial for that relationship to flourish early on, before they even move overseas. Because if they don't have a good foundation, then that would make life really, really difficult when they are miles apart on different sides of the world."
-James Yu
Tianyi also emphasises the importance of two-way effort. There isn't a single gold standard of a perfect relationship, but there needs to be effort from both the parent and the child.
“A parent can do everything they can, but if the student is not responsive, that connection won't be established," he says.
"I think we expect that our relationship with our parents is effortless, but sometimes it actually needs effort too."
Parent tip: Include your child early in the decision-making process at home. This makes them feel more engaged and builds respect and trust.
Remember that UQ is here to support your child
While students are building independence, universities also provide support networks to help them thrive. At UQ, students can access counselling services, academic skills advisers, financial assistance, welfare support and health promotion programs for guidance.
If required, parents can also request a welfare check if they feel their child is in distress. UQ Safer Communities provides confidential, trauma‑informed, culturally responsive support to students who have experienced, witnessed, or are concerned about harmful or unsafe behaviour.
Supporting a child studying overseas is not about removing every challenge. It's about helping them build the confidence, resilience and independence to navigate those challenges themselves, while knowing they are supported every step of the way.
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